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Thursday, September 6, 2007
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   Thursday, September 6, 2007

Our First Hang Out
Our First Hang out….
Some of our fondest memories are about friendship and good times we share with special friends. Don't you from time to time think about sharing with your neighbors, your friend, your family members, your colleagues the joy that is in your heart..?? Recently I've had a wonderful experience which I would like to share.
I and my best friend Suman attended MS classes together. It's fun being around with her. We love hanging around, shopping and of course we do a bit of studying together. Both of us met Hari & Lakshman who happened to be in our class. We never realized how time took a serious look at our friendship. Four of us have been friends for last few months and 'Friends Forever' is the motto of our little group.
On 21st August we planned to have lunch together as hari and suman were treating us for their b'day. All of us met at 12:30 pm and then set for the lunch which was to be taken at "AANGAN"... a Punjabi local restaurant here in Bangalore. We sat together and ordered some starters. It was during this time that I was introduced to the pleasure that comes when we share time with new friends...time spent not doing anything in particular, but just being with people. We sat there for nearly 2 hrs enjoying the food and atmosphere and more importantly each other's company and conversation.
We had to depart after having the deserts. As we were ready to make a move Lakshman handed a gift to Suman. I was wondering what was wrapped in as a gift for her and out of excitement asked her to open the gift at that very moment. Hari wasn't agreeing with me... but I was very impatient and so forced Suman to open it. We were surprised after seeing the gift....it was a salwar of Sumans choice which we bought on 8th Aug from MG road along with Hari for her cousin (as told by him...).We never even guessed that he wanted to surprise Suman with this beautiful gift. We had accompanied Hari and Lakshman to Forum and then MG thinking that we were helping him in buying a gift for his cousin...but we were wrong. It was one of the sweetest gifts Suman could ever think of. Hari and Lakshman brought a feel that surprising someone this way makes a real huge difference. We departed with an appreciation of memories learning to value new friends.
Our friendship is relatively new, but has become important to all of us I believe I cherish the moments we had spent together and most important every time I think of it I'll think of our friendship.

Amrita Triapthi.


The 7 Unfailing Laws of Successful Relationships
Copyright 2005 Brenda Shoshanna
Most think that relationships exist to make them happy. When they find that special person, they believe that love will naturally grow. But in relationships we encounter everything, challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite all training in life, we seldom learn about the knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the relationship in a way that brings out the best in all.
To start this process, there are 7 simple laws we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts, helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly mistakes.
Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships. Relationships are abundantly available wherever you are.
Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's not enough to go around and that they must cling to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause them to get involved with the wrong person, or stay in a relationship that is toxic for them. It is crucial to realize that relationships are plentiful. (If you don't have one, it is because you are keeping it away). It is never necessary to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.
Law # 2 Know Who You Are And What You Really Want
Many enter relationships hoping that it will give them a life, or make them feel better about themselves. They may want their partner to take care of them, or give them the approval they've been denied. But it is of the utmost importance to know and respect who you are, to enjoy your own company and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise, you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn in someone else's world.. A healthy relationship is an expression of two people, both equally valuable. In this kind of relationship you discover all you have to offer and how to offer it.
Law #3 Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For You
Some find, to their amazement, that they choose the same partner, over and over again. Relationships patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat a situation over and over until we master it or it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are caught in this, see what this pattern is doing for you. Actively choose different places to go and individuals who are different from those you usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern. Turn you life around.
Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication
Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes. Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock of all happy relationships is mutual respect and acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask for what is important to you. Find out what is really going on for your partner. When a person really feels listened to and accepted they feel loved.
Law #5 Don't Try To Change Or Fix Other Person Let everyone be who they are, including yourself.
So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation. . Many believe that if the person cared enough, they would certainly change for them. This is not so. Changing another is not your job. Find out who the person you are with really is. If someone feels accepted, they can change themselves, if they want to.
Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit Love.
Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a person, feeling possessive or dependent is not love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency, usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies fade. People then feel that the love is over. It is not over, it's just been a form of counterfeit love. We must learn the difference between real and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy. Counterfeit love always involves struggle and pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb. It is not based simply upon feelings, which come and go, but actions. It is important to learn "to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in return.
Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself.
What we see in others, we bring out in them. If we focus upon their negative points (and let them know about them), you can be certain the negativity will increase. When we focus upon what is good in that person and let them know, this brings out the best. The better a person then feels about themselves, the less need they have for negativity. Often it can just fall away on its own.
Law #7 1/2- The Master Law When They Come We Welcome, When They Go We Do Not Pursue
Understand that each relationship lasts for a certain time. You've come together to learn from one another, to share, enjoy and often move along. This is not rejection, but growth and change. Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to control when time comes to go. Realize that if the person is supposed to be with you longer, they will return on their own. The greatest art of relationships is to know how to let go. When someone new comes welcome them, when it's time to let go, thank the person for all you've received from them and let go.

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Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship, by working with the unique program in Dr. Shoshanna's new e-book Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com . Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, relationship expert on i.village.com, speaker, and has run over 500 workshops on all aspects of relationships and fulfilling your potential. She is the author of many books, including Zen And The Art of Falling In Love, (Simon and Schuster), Why Men Leave (Putnam), What He Can't Tell You And Needs To Say, (Putnam) and many others. You can contact her at mailto: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com . Her personal website is: http://www.brendashoshanna.com/


What Does the Way You Shop for Christmas Presents Say About You?